New

CincinnatiThere’s a lot of new things in my life lately, from a new city, a new job, a new apartment, and now a new cat gotten just a day before the new year. New surrounds me. It’s fitting; in many ways, I am a new me. Oh, I’m still the same Daniel at my core, but there have been enough changes in my life in a short enough period of time that a new Me had to be created in order to survive. That’s pretty much all I did for the second half of 2013 – survive.

I’m not surviving anymore. I’m living.

Historically I’ve never been a big fan of change. In theory, it sounds grand, but in practice I tended to steer away from it. The new Me still feels a little like that, but I don’t mind it one bit anymore. I welcome it in many instances. I love seeing people’s faces when they learn that I moved from Miami/Orlando to Cincinnati for a job. They look at me like I have three eyes and fifteen horns. It makes me realize how many people are simply adverse to adventure anymore. Because that’s what this move is, an adventure. And that’s how I approach it every day, especially those days when something completely new to me shows up, whether it was my first snowstorm (the day I moved into my new apartment, no less), or the below-0° blast a couple days ago.

I’m embracing New, especially a New that honors and learns from what came before in order to improve. It’s all I really want to do in life right now, learn and improve. I want to be better than I was, I want to rectify what and who I was, so who I am from here on is better all around. It’s a daily project, and one of the worthiest of all.

I’ll be sharing about all the new things in my life, from my job to my cat, in between 12+-hour shifts at work, naps, and random explorations of Cincinnati.

Changes

It’s a time for change. The year is ending, we have a new Doctor Who, so what better time than right now, then?

This has been a year of changes. Big changes. Life-altering changes.

I began the year in Miami, a nursing student, an emotional mess. Along the way I graduated nursing school, achieving something I thought almost impossible at times. Along the way I also got separated from my wife, and two months later, divorced. Along the way I moved to Orlando, an emotional mess, and became a licensed RN. Along the way I became a school nurse in a high school, moved into a shared house with roommates that tried my patience on a daily basis. Along the way I lost–nay, threw away–my Judaism, then realized it was a far more integral part of me than I had thought. Along the way I fought with G-d, raged, cried, fell down, got up. Along the way I made new friends, which led me to visit Ohio, which led me to accept a job offer in Cincinnati. Along the way I packed my car, and drove 2000 miles, from Orlando, Florida, to Cincinnati, Ohio, visiting friends on my way north. Along the way I started a new job, moved into a new apartment, began a new life. I end the year in Cincinnati, a registered nurse, an emotional mess.

But I’m getting better.

One day I will make my peace with 2013. It’ll take time, but I will. In the meantime, 2014 is just three days away, and while I will continue to work in sorting out my past, it will not stop me from living my present.

It’s a time for change. I welcome it.

 

Advanced MedSurg: Round 2

Today I find myself in the same spot I was a few months back. Tomorrow I take the final exam in Advanced MedSurg for the second time, and for the second time it all comes down to this test. It’s very simple: pass the final, pass the class. No other way around it.

Everything is riding in this exam. It’s not just the class, but also my continued attendance at MDC School of Nursing, since I can only retake a class one time and that’s it.

Better not to think about it.

One exam. Sink or swim.

I’m swimming. Here’s hoping I reach the shore.

Tired

I cannot properly convey how tired I am.

It’s just about the end of the first half of the semester, the end of Advanced MedSurg, and I am wiped. You may see me up and about doing stuff (I try to do my best around the house even if it isn’t a lot) and studying (not today Friday, but seriously, I’ve never studied this hard ever before) and working out (I’ve been running regularly for the past three weeks), but I am beyond depleted. If I had a little battery icon like my phone, I would be in the red.

The sad thing is that I’ll get to sleep tonight and tomorrow during Shabbat, but it won’t really help. Yes, I’ll feel somewhat refreshed and renewed, but in light of the two days after, during which I need to finish studying an entire semester of Advanced MedSurg for my final on Tuesday and ATI (standardized) test on Wednesday, it will simply be a like bandage on an arterial bleed.

Still, I have no option but to continue ahead and hope copious amounts of coffee will be enough to give me energy and focus.